Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) Richmond, VA

Memorial Minute for Bette Gilchrist

by WebPost | Feb 21, 2024 | Minuted Decisions

By Margaret Edds

Bette Diebold Gilchrist, a plain-spoken Midwesterner by birth, an intellectually curious biologist by profession, and a lifelong seeker after truth, died on May 5, 2022, in Richmond, Virginia. A member of the Richmond Friends Meeting since January 20, 1992, she was admired for her kind disposition, her love of nature, and her stalwart determination in facing life’s challenges. At her memorial service, one longtime friend summed up Bette’s life with an original poem entitled, “She Persisted.”

Bette was born on June 15, 1939, in Yankton, South Dakota, the daughter of Charles Alois Diebold and Gladys Olson. She grew up in Gayville, South Dakota, pop. 278 at the 1940 census. She embraced the strong work ethic of her Norwegian ancestors and often spoke of both the challenges and joys of life in an isolated, rural community. The latter included a memory, shared in Meeting for Worship, of walking through crunching snow on a starlit night to a Christmas Eve service at her family’s local Lutheran church.

After graduating from Gayville High School, Bette attended Augustana College in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, where she earned a B.S. degree. Later, she received an M.S. degree from the University of Colorado at Boulder and an M.R.C. degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. She taught biology for many years at Chickahominy Middle School, Stonewall Jackson Middle School (now Roberto Clemente Middle School) and Patrick Henry High School, all in Hanover County, and at John Tyler Community College in Chester (now Brightpoint Community College). On a nature hike after a summer shower, Bette delighted a friend with a lecture on the reproductive characteristics of the earthworms dotting the trail.

Introduced to Quakerism by her friend and teaching colleague Laura Cribbs, Bette began regularly attending First Day services at Richmond Friends Meeting in the fall of 1990. Applying for membership, she recalled that “spirituality has been an important part of my life since I was a child.” Both prayer and Bible reading, as well as participation in church activities were important to her in adolescence, she wrote.

In the mid-1970s, Bette was introduced to the practice of meditation, which she continued throughout her life. She was drawn to eastern religions and their disciplines, including yoga, and attended an ashram in New York State. Such training, she wrote, increased her connection with the inner self or inner Light. “Naturally, I love the silent worship and the simplicity of the Friends Meeting.” Through her years of membership, Bette served on Richmond Friends Meeting’s nominating committee (including as its clerk in 1995 and 2004), the Care and Counsel Committee, the Ministry and Worship Committee, and the Adult Spiritual Education Committee. Her quiet voice and sound, practical wisdom were valued.

Bette was married on December 27, 1964 at the Lutheran Church in Gayville to Rohit Nanavati, whom she later divorced. The couple had two sons: Mark Charles Nanavati, born January 19, 1970, and Jay Rohit Nanavati, born July 13, 1974. Bette married Bruce Gilchrist, a mathematician and computer expert, on May 28, 2008. They enjoyed several trips to England, Bruce’s birthplace. After his unexpected death in May 2015, his obituary noted that he “loved, respected, and cherished Bette” and that “together they traveled, laughed, and went to the zoo.”

Bette spent her final years at the Westminster Canterbury Retirement Community in Richmond, Virginia. Despite physical challenges, she continued to display determination and persistence until her death.